Monday, October 03, 2005

Nostalgic October

Well folks, it's fall! And I am going to try to not think about winter and maintain a positive attitude about my favorite season of the year, with pumpkins, squash and gourds of various types, crispy leaves, apples, dry and cool air, beautiful fall fashion (HEY -- the blog is, after all, "GIRL from Glen Ellyn), coats, and a new year. For some reason, I'm still in that school mentality that the year begins with fall. Not that lame ass, Indian summer September bullshit -- I'm talking fall and all that accompanies it, including of course, delicious food. So that's a pretty positive start! I didn't even mention ice and snow and salt and having to hunch over when you walk, and dry and pale skin and misshapen clothes and sweaters and scarves and commercialism having successfully destroyed the best holiday in the world, and . . . . Well people, it's lurking around the corner -- we might as well prepare for it.

Now I just have to rant for one second. Is it me, or are people getting sloppier and sloppier with spelling and reading comprehension? People, learn to SPELL CORRECTLY. You do not "loose" something, you LOSE it. And you're means "YOU ARE." "Too" means "also." "Their" is a possessive term referring to someone's ownership of something; it does not refer to a place over "there." There is a significant difference between "its" and "it's" -- learn the difference! And why use words when you don't really know what they mean but you have just heard them used in some vague context? Most of the transgressions occur in e-mails, which I realize are more informal, but my god. I don't know if it's because I write for a living, but I can't stand it, can't STAND it! OK, now you can all point the grammatical and spelling errors to me on this blog because I have just exposed myself. But it is one of my worst things, seriously.

OK so anyone who knows me knows I'm a total geek when it comes to fall. My mom used to take us to this place called "Sunny Acres" in beautiful St. Charles, Illinois (that's sarcasm -- recognize it, please) complete with corn stalks and pumpkin pie and elephant ears and rubber spiders and apple picking and all that cheesy Midwestern stuff. I always wonder if people on the East coast get all excited about that. Probably not. Anyway, that planted the seed in my geeky heart to appreciate fall traditions. Seriously, could I be any whiter? Or any less Korean, that is? I don't know if it's because it reminds me of my childhood, which, looking back, was "practically perfect in every way" (movie? can anyone guess?) until about 1987 when all of our lives sort of fell apart, or if it's because I'm a big geek who just likes that stuff. I think the same part of me that loves apples and pumpkins and all of that stops me on the bridge on the way to work to watch the ducks swim along the Chicago river and makes my eyes well up when I hear someone describe -- even with the most mundane detail -- the person they love, be it a child, a parent, or a lover.

But, I digress. It's amazing -- at this time last year, I was stumping for Kerry in Beloit and Milwaukee, and look where we are now. I cannot get into it. I won't. Well just one tiny thing -- with the TWO Delay indictments (and Katrina and Frist and Iraq), those Republicant bastards are looking awfully nervous. The teeniest part of me is excited for the 2006 elections, but I'm not going to be all optimistic. Please.

So aside from waxing nostalgic about my oh-so-happy childhood, fall certainly makes me think change, of a turning of the seasons. God that is cliche, but true. Seeing it manifest itself in such a physically obvious way makes me look within to see, what am I doing to change and grow? Am I just going to be in the exact same place in my life, one year later, in October 2006? I feel as though I have been rather lazy as of late, and have fallen into a personal and professional rut. After school and school and tests and applications and more school and more tests and job hunting and the struggle to begin my professional career and buy and establish a home, I had managed to find myself in a rut where I was able to simply enjoy living and not worry about the next step to take. And it was nice! But that is no longer good enough for me. In short order, I am going to New York soon, which I am excited about, and am going to Europe next year to celebrate the big 3-0. But for now, life is turning and changing, and I am restless.

2 Comments:

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