Sunday, November 20, 2005

Two Posts In A Row!

Because you care (about the two posts in a row, I mean). So this is rare indeed. I have two things to say: 1 is a rant, and 1 is just a comment. First, the rant. I've already complained to everyone within earshot that the early arrival and prevalence of Christmas commercials is shameful. For shame! But the retailers are worried about losing revenue to gas and heating costs, as well as the general feeling of malaise of the nation, so they are aiming their marketing early. That's what America in 2005 is about, right? But why the proliferation of cheesy, ultra-emoting, miky-hued, sepia-toned "Holiday Specials?" Each network is rolling out its versions of the Perfect Holiday Story, featuring stars from their own popular shows, to show Us what the Ideal Christmas is supposed to be like. Blech! It makes me feel so sad, that we somehow lack the ability to express or experience real feeling of love or affection or sadness or whatever for our families, friends, and other people in our lives who Christmas is supposed to make us think about. We need these shows to make us "feel" love? Good god. Blech. Plus it's November 19, people. Let Thanksgiving come first, for the love of god.

Second, I came across a journal that I carried with me in college and after, where I would write down quotes that struck me and would jot down why they struck me. This thing is hilarious. Many of the quotes come from the Bible, which is understandable given my mental state and belief system at the time. The hilarity comes from the fact that I took myself quite seriously. I do think I should begin carrying it around with me again. I certainly was more well-read and thoughtful at the time. Anyway, I found one in particular, which kind of depressed me too, because it was dated April 24, 1997, about 8 years ago. I had just turned 21 and was finishing up my junior year in college. The depressing part is I pretty much feel exactly the same right now. That's some progress there. This may have been about the time when I began to feel that maybe the Religion thing wasn't making much sense to me:

I'm so anxious, depressed, scared, excited, confused. Nothing in particular has happened, life carries on as normal. But I am not myself. Summer stuff, relationship stuff, future stuff, character stuff. Is this what college is? This vague, indefinite feeling that things -- you -- are changing, but you're not sure how, not sure where, not sure how to put it all together. I feel like one day, I will come up with a resolution, but then I shudder at the notion that that day may never come.

OK, easy! I haven't the faintest idea what was tying me up in knots. If I come up with more that I find interesting, I'll post them here. I was clearly a fan of C.S. Lewis, but I'm glad to see that most of the quotes really didn't have much to do with god, but more about love and death. I think I may take up another book of his in the near future.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

Add to Technorati Favorites