Monday, October 29, 2007

Boo(ze) Camp

Oh man. Fucking baby boomers strike again. I couldn't make this shit up. Two terminally ill men strike a deal to do a list of things before they die? Starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as the magical and wise black man? Really? Rob Reiner is really falling out of my favor, even though he directed the best romantic comedy of all time. This movie has every painful, ubiquitous, overdone BB cliche:

- Stars BB superhero Jack Nicholson as a crusty old curmudgeon and Morgan Freeman as the magical black man who gives JN a whole new perspective on life.

-- They engage in every "have to do this before I die" cliche imaginable, including skydiving, visiting the Taj Mahal, stock car racing (replaces the cross-country motorcycle trip a la Easy Rider) and seeing the pyramids. I'm guessing visiting the local gloryhole is not on the Bucket List.

-- JN of course has an estranged relationship with his daughter who MF of course encourages him to rekindle. And the estranged daughter of COURSE has an angelic young (blonde) daughter.

-- And of course, they are old and are knocking on death's door. HELLO, BABY BOOMERS? SOME SELF AWARENESS, PLEASE.

GOD.

In a vain and likely futile effort to stave off the inevitable winter weight gain, I've signed up for a bootcamp style workout program at my gym. We meet twice a week in the a.m. and work out and discuss nutrition. I'm kind of annoyed because for a fairly hefty price tag, it seems very beginner-focused (i.e., I don't think doing 20 pushups and situps and jogging for 10 minutes really qualifies as 1 cardio and 1 resistance workout, but whatever). I figured the pain of being weighed weekly and measured every 4 weeks would be enough to shame me into eating 100% healthy all the time, but I figured wrong. It doesn't help that I've already lied to the cute trainer (did I know he was running it? NO, I did NOT) who runs the program about my weight. Not my proudest moment, but this was an unusual weekend for me, what with the fried Cuban food Friday and the Violet Hour bonanza (and post-VH grazing) on Saturday! At least it gets me to das gym 1 day more a week than I typically go and kind of, KIND OF forces me to resist evils like the Krackels in our office candy jar and gets me thinking about adding protein and fiber and getting rid of all empty calories. Of course, the one thing they keep driving home is that we have to cut out booze. Um, fat chance. If that's what stands between me and losing 3-4 lbs., then I'm just going to live with being 3-4 lbs. away from what I consider my ideal weight. Fuck, I would MUCH RATHER do 30 more minutes of cardio a week or lift a little extra each day than cut out my wine and manhattans (and gimlets and sidecars and dark & stormies and, um, never mind).

Anyway, we have to keep a food journal and workout journal and the food journal at least is pretty painful. Since it's been so long since I've written in a private journal, it shows me I've become the kind of person who lies in my journals! I'm glad I'm on a workout kick though, b/c I do feel a tad stronger. I think I've got my running pace down to a *.** minute mile, which is pretty cool. I'll update (myself) on the progress but at this rate, I'm going to be happy if I just coast and stay the same, maybe with slightly more toned arms. : )

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