The (Dis)Honesty In People

Dammit, people. Why must you lie? Do you realize you harm innocent people (innocent, not blameless) because you are too unsure of yourself to be true to both yourself and to them? Why lie? Is the expectation of honesty and decency -- particularly from those purportedly close to us and in whom we TRUST -- too much to ask? It's enough that people make choices that hurt themselves. But when they USE others and bring them down with them because they are either too weak or too afraid or too much in denial to be HONEST, that is unforgiveable. Ugh. I am just fed up. FED UP.

Of course, resolution and peace and closure are things that only I can control. I cannot rely on others for these things, particularly when they have demonstrated an inability or an unwillingness to offer them. So, I will try to channel my anger toward more constructive ends. I will insist on being honest. I will insist on being true to myself. I will insist on being strong. I will be grateful for those dear family and friends in my life that set the standard, whether by being honest to a spouse or a friend or a waitress or an insurance company. And I will be sure that in the future, I do not impute the kind of trustworthiness that others have demonstrated to those who do not deserve it.

Things I Hate (and Love)

Currently reading: Veronica, by Mary Gaitskill.

Holy shit, is this a good book that all should read. Dark and difficult, but gorgeous. Not so timely considering what I have faced lately, but excellent nonetheless, particularly given that the subject matter has been visited by so many other inferior, cliche-ridden products.

What do I hate in people?

• Lack of self-awareness
• Dishonesty
• Ignorance (not to be confused with stupidity, which is forgivable as it cannot be helped)
• Self-definition (for example, "I am/am not a [blank] kind of person.") Shut up. If you have to actually say that, you are being self-defining, and therefore counterfeit. This is not to be confused with self-awareness, which is a good thing. Self-aware = good. Self-defining = bad. Interestingly, being self-defining has a whole lot to do with failing to or not wanting to be self-aware. Stop goddamn posing and trying and just BE.
• Oh, and dishonesty
• Did I mention I have no tolerance for dishonesty? Or lack of character in general?

Edit: Whoops, I realized it's Valentine's Day and maybe I should also talk about things I love (duh) in people:

• Authenticity.
• Generosity. The kind of limitless, sincere, kind, thankless generosity that exists regardless of whether someone is looking or not.
• Integrity. Boy is this a quality that is hard to find these days.
• Strength. The kind that makes you able to stand by your decisions and take responsibility for your actions, right or wrong, without blaming others or taking the weasely way out.
• Character. You know when to be loyal, and forgiving, and kind, and know the difference between when it is deserved and when you must let go.
• Laughter. OK, not a quality, but still. Because you gotta laugh, yo.

So that's that! Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll. And thank you for the flowers, my sweet, beautiful nephew and his dad and mom (who both possess all of the above qualities in spades). :)

Seriously!

Is this not the cutest kid? I shudder to think though, what will happen if he happens to loathe baseball.