Rock Yer World

There is no question -- my nephew is the cutest goddamn kid in the whole world (aside of course from J and S and N and other children of friends whom I love but esp. those three).

You know, every now and again something happens that totally rocks your world and fucks with your understanding of how you thought things were. I have so, so many problems, but one of them is that someone confessed that he has feelings for me and my first response was questioning how he could possibly feel that way. Problems. Problems! That's all I will really say though this is my only outlet because I can't talk about it with anyone else. I would have never, ever, ever, ever guessed in 1 million years and I actually find it so very odd. It's funny, you can try all with all your might to primp and preen and get someone to like you and nada, you can totally act as goofy and idiotic and weak and drunk and whatever as you want and catch someone's attention. Weird.

Why?

Why

-- is it still cold sometimes in mid-July?

-- do clients not understand the difference between buying your professional time and owning you?

-- do people drive slowly in the left lane?

-- do I care so much what people think of me?

-- do people stop in the middle of a crowded sidewalk?

-- does Nordstrom start its semi-annual sale on a Friday so all the good stuff gets taken by stupid bitches who don't have to work?

-- has it been almost six months since I've been to New York?

-- is Anthony Hopkins's portrayal of Hannibal Lector one of the most perfect. roles. ever. It makes me shiver no matter how many times I watch it.

-- can't my sister-in-law get pregnant again?

-- do I find myself attracted to people who are totally wrong for me and who make no sense at all?

-- in the battle between heart (or hormones) and mind does the heart (or hormones) almost always find a way to overcome the mind, all logic and sense notwithstanding?

-- does Patrick get to fly all over the world and I'm fucking banging my head against the wall at this thankless, frustrating, depressing, go-nowhere job?

And to close this off, please [fill in your deity here] don't let MP have another horrible, debilitating disease or some horrible, debilitating stroke. Please, please no.

Baby Boomers Can Bite Me

Everyone hold your breath, the American Film Institute just revised its Top 100 Movies list. You can access it here. According to the AFI, Citizen Kane is the best movie ever made for all eternity or whatever the official title is. I fell asleep during that movie, but I have been known to do that. What is more appalling is the remaining 99 movies on this list, and the glaring omissions. As Patrick aptly put it, this list should be called Top 100 Most Conventional, Nostalgia-Driven Choices by Baby Boomers for Greatest Films Ever, Plus a Few New Films Also Directed by Baby Boomers to Suit Baby Boomer Sensibilities . . . Bonus Material: Do the Right Thing.

Jesus fucking christ, people. There are way too many Jimmy Stewart (read: parent of Baby Boomers), Frank Capra, Buster Keaton, and Charlie Chaplin movies on this list. Also, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Richard Gere, and Warren Beatty (read: Baby Boomer idols and contemporaries). Having a DW Griffith or Charlie Chaplin movie on this list is like comparing cave drawings to the fucking Mona Lisa.

Other abominations: Grapes of Wrath, Singin' in the Rain, The General, The Shawshank Redemption, West Side Story, The Best Years of Our Lives, Network, American Graffiti, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sixth Sense, Forrest Gump, Easy Rider, MASH, and you already know of my hatred for Annie Hall, which is also Baby Boomer bullshit.

These movies, though they may be good films, simply trigger some kind of Baby Boomer nostalgia or sensibilities based on what they valued when they were young. They are classics, not great films. Glaringly missing from this list:

A single David Lynch movie, Brazil, American Beauty, the third Lord of the Rings movie. Bladerunner, Pulp Fiction and the first Lord of the Rings should be far higher on this list, and I can't fucking believe Forrest Gump and Annie Hall beat Goodfellas and Bladerunner. Also The Shining should be on here even though it deals with magical children and stars Jack Nicholson, who is a huge Baby Boomer hero. And, though Russell Crowe bugs me, Gladiator and perhaps even Capote, O Brother Where Art Thou, When Harry Met Sally, or The Princess Bride. But I guess they are too new and don't deal with the Vietnam War, the Holocaust, Watergate, aging gracefully, drugs, or confused, middle-aged affairs.

Fucking baby boomers can bite me.